What Qualifies a Man to Speak about and Support Women? (my thoughts)
A man is qualified to speak about and support women not because of his gender, but because of his competence and credibility.
Men who effectively support women are those who (at a minimum) will practice self‑education, advocacy, and humility.
Women are women and men are men. I have been around many females. Some were not very cool, and others were “the cat’s meow.” I have learned LOTS from our female counterparts, and I have learned the opposite. If you are a woman reading this, you will be able to say the same thing in supreme confidence.
Once more, “a man is qualified to speak about and support women when he has earned their trust.” Once that fella has shown them consistent (good) character you are okay to have around — not when he simply holds a title, opinion, or Biblical vocabulary.
Credibility is not self-declared; it is granted by those you claim to support. …thoughts?
If you are a dude reading this, consider the bullets below. If these are said about you, you have started well. We are not always searching for aptitude or attitude; we should be on the hunt for the strength of that woman. Why is that? She has something that you and I do not have that makes her, “her.” Let’s ask questions and learn what those are. Here is my itty-bitty list that will allow us to grade ourselves.
Do men exhibit self‑education behaviors?
Are we always acting like we are smarter or always in control, or are we listening to that woman?
Are we asking questions or making statements?
Do we REALLY want to know… Her feedback is important from where she stands. It should be important from the male’s as well. he needs to know what she knows.
When men are speaking to or about a woman, his modesty will frequently open relational doors and removes power struggles. With those out of the way, space is made for honest truth to be obtained. A man who speaks from above disqualifies himself; a man who speaks from beside becomes credible.
Men who support women well intentionally learn about women’s experiences, inequities, and burdens rather than assuming they already understand. This includes things like learning about them:
Emotional labor
Caregiving burdens
Workplace inequities
Spiritual wounds caused by misuse of authority
Women have fought well for their “place in the sun.” They deserve respect and the condition of honor their Creator gave them when He fashioned her from Adam’s own self. This means, “no man hates his own body,” nor does he “come up despising his own life.” He must learn to do those things.
Two of those (4) are shared among the men and women. Are you able to tell which?
If we men are to be effective male collaborators, we are to be motivated by not only moral obligation, but by spiritual and social justice. Ego is not part of the graded performance. The women I am around and have learned from trust men who demonstrate the association between words and actions over time.
Consistency is a huge factor and assistant.
Maybe the man is thinking, “since the woman was fashioned from me, these below things give me the automatic liberty to be “qualified to speak on behalf of women.” Not so fast, bud. Here are few things that Does Not qualify a man:
Being male
Being a husband
Being a pastor
Being older
Having strong opinions
Knowing Bible verses about women
Having daughters
Having good intentions
None of those automatically qualify a man! They only give him opportunity, not authority. If that makes sense to BOTH male and females, we are getting further along.
NOTE: What I just listed is actually something men often assume but GOD has never affirmed!
Woman was fashioned BY GOD, not by man! Here are some cool facts about the Loving Creator… GOD did the shaping, He did the forming, GOD did the breathing and He did the blessing.
A man cannot claim authority over what GOD Himself constructed. We man created to lead? Yes. However, when he leads her, his job is to do so in the manner the Creator would have him to.
Learn from GOD (listen and obey)
Learn about her (listen, apply, listen, conform and apply)
NOTE: The rib symbolizes protection, not dominance
Respect, orderly care and a learned response qualifies a man to speak about and support women
A man must be shaped by women’s voices before he attempts to speak on their behalf. If he hasn’t listened deeply, he isn’t qualified to speak deeply. When a man attempts to speak about or for women without first doing the hard, quiet work of listening, he risks missing the nuances of their lived experiences—the specific exhaustion of the mental load, the pain of spiritual sidelining, or the frustration of workplace invisibility.
“Leaders” cannot effectively serve to or advocate for women if they only view them through a lens of conventional expectations, rather than listening to their unique spiritual gifts, struggles, and insights.
Supporting women means strengthening their voices, not replacing them. Women KNOW women’s roles! They can do what GOD made them for. They are strong enough to stand and be who they are, especially if we men are praying them through it and helping them to stand. Just like they do for us.
Men who support women well remove fear, pressure, and judgment from conversations. Safety is a qualification. Let’s take this inside the home too. If a husband and father are willing to transform from a man "helping out" with chores to taking full cognitive ownership of household domains, it will assist her with fulfilling who she is for you, the workplace (if that is what your home needs), and your children.
NOTE: It means listening to her exhaustion and actively restructuring the mental load so that her time and rest are valued equally to yours.
Men who support women well remove fear, pressure, and judgment from conversations.
NOTE: Creating a safety environment for her is a qualification for speaking on her behalf.
NOTE: Here is a simple gimme… Men who actively open doors for women (not just talk about it) are seen as credible allies.
Back to the top… Men who effectively support women are those who practice self‑education, advocacy, and humility. Those are the fellas I like to spend time with as well.