There is Cost to Loving and Serving Another. How Much is It?
“Laying down one’s life for a [friend]” is filled full of meaning! I like to get to the meaning of things I’ve heard over the years, and this past week, this piqued my attention. Again.
Scripture tells us … “In all of your getting, get an understanding” –Proverbs 4:7
“Laying down one’s life for a [friend], or another…” is a full-on Hebraic idiom, even though it is used in the Greek language to explain a point.
The rather straightforward statement “In all of your getting, get an understanding” carries a depth that English only hints at. If you chose to, you are invited to tap into a phrase that is far more than to just “learn things”. Let’s consider it an encouraging Command to pursue the kind of understanding that shapes how a person lives, loves, and walks with ADONAI.
Let’s take a stroll to look for a good place to dig. Shall we? There absolutely IS a cost to love and serve. It is NOT an easy thing to do. What if that person is…? [you can place a description here]
Is “laying down one’s life for another…” what we are doing when we CHOOSE to FOLLOW GOD’s Son and obey the Word of GOD? I said earlier it is an idiom. Idioms are expressions that offer a window into the culture and mindset of those who speak it. The Scriptures use a LOT of them! In Judges and Samuel this is expressed as (risking one’s life that would expose them to the possibility of death); however, it often means something a bit different. …to place one’s life into the hand of another (GOD or, our enemy)
I had to “go back to school” for this section. This term actually uses what we learned in school as “anthropology”. It is the study of humanity that crosses biology and sociology, concerned with behavior, cultures, and linguistics, in both the present and past, including archaic humans.
Yeah… That was a lot, but it SHOULD cause you to sit up in your seat. It is a saying that is designed to pull you into the life of a person. How will you and I accomplish that feat? You can’t truly do it DEAD! You have to be willing “to get to know them”. It will take some self-LESS action(s).
Give of these…the breathing, vulnerable, embodied person
Give of these…it includes blood, desire, appetite, identity, and vitality
To give everything one is
You see, the common believer just reads the Bible (when we do) and takes the English as the real meaning of what GOD has said. NOPE! What about the language, culture, and behavior of the people. Yeshua has offered us to “learn of Him”, if we are to be yoked with Him. This is why Leviticus says: “for the life (nefesh) of the flesh is in the blood.”
NOTE: Blood = life = self. So… The Biblical thoughts hear “lay down one’s life” as “pouring out one’s own life‑force for the sake of another’s well‑being”
The Hebrew Bible uses the verb (natan) — “to give”. In proper contexts, it would be where someone offers or risks their life.
NOTE: The key idiom here for “to give the life / to give the self” (nefesh) does not mean “soul” in a Greek sense.
NOTE: Contextually and linguistically, it means the whole living self, the in person (and alive) life and breath. So… The Hebrew notion is not “sacrifice a soul” but “to hand over one’s entire self for the sake of another.”
NOTE: The societal world (to include language and slang) world leans much more toward servanthood, costly loyalty, and self‑risk than toward the idea of literal death.
I’ve learned, this is the closest linguistic background to “lay down one’s life.” As I said earlier, “…back to school.” Death is included as the extreme edge of the idea, but it is not the primary meaning.
There IS a COST… What is it? The cost is what we have been talking about.
Since we have been told to “count up the cost” for following Jesus, this is but ONE of them. In Luke 14:28 Jesus says, “…does not first sit down and calculate the cost…”
25 ”…large crowds were going along with Him, and He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. 27 Whoever does not carry his own cross and comes after Me cannot be My disciple. 28 For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who are watching it will begin to ridicule him, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build, and was not able to finish!’ 31 Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to face the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 Otherwise, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and requests terms of peace. 33 So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions” —Luke 14:25-33
The Greek phrase explaining “calculate the cost” tells us these things:
kathisas — “having sat down,” meaning deliberate reflection
psēphizein — “to count, calculate, reckon”
tēn dapanēn — “the cost, the expense”
The imagery is of someone literally counting stones or tokens used for calculation.
So… Jesus is saying, sit down, think carefully, and reckon what following Me will require. What do we all know about our Obedient Redeemer and His character? He is submissive, caring, kind, respectful, honorable and through all of those attributes, HE WILL GO AS FAR AS LOVING US TO DEATH, by GIVING UP HIS LIFE’s BLOOD!
The key Hebrew idiom behind the concept means “to give one’s life/self”
This means offering your whole being, your energy, your safety and your identity. It is self‑giving, not necessarily self‑killing. It even goes as-far-as — “to put one’s life in the palm (of danger)”
EXAMPLE: It is used of David’s warriors and Jonathan; and means risking one’s life, not necessarily losing it.
EXAMPLE: “to hand over one’s life/self” in the acts of sacrificial devotion, courageous obedience and yes, costly service. Again, not automatically death (but can LEAD to it)
NOTE: The Hebraic concept of “friend” adds more to the meaning toward the Covenant loyalty Abba expects of His followers.
Your act of selfless commitment and service to “to hand over one’s life/self” in the acts of sacrificial devotion, courageous obedience and yes, costly service. …even IF it means dying for them means this person exhibits all these ROLES for YOU. It only makes your actions a bit easier:
The Hebrew terms behind “friend” implies:
Covenant partner
One bound by loyalty
Someone you protect, serve, and stand with
The phrase “give one’s life for a friend” in a Biblically Hebrew mind means “to place your whole self at the disposal of your covenant partner, even at great cost.” That is servanthood, loyalty, self‑risk, and self‑offering.
NOTE: In reading this, death is the farthest edge of that spectrum, not the center.
Here are some more examples that I trust will assist your “…getting an understanding”
Jonathan (for David): Jonathan risks his life repeatedly, but the text never says he must die for David. His loyalty is expressed through service, protection, and costly obedience.
Judah (for Benjamin): Judah offers himself as a substitute. This is servanthood, not a suicide pact.
David’s mighty men: Each of them “risked their lives” to get water for David. The Hebrew idiom is about dangerous devotion, not death.
NOTE: In Loving and serving someone, THERE IS A COST that MUST be “COUNTED UP (calculated)”