Poor Communication Slowly Destroys a Marriage
One of the simplest and most troublesomely difficult things to do in marriage is communicate. That act leads to misunderstanding, resentment and distance. The lack of JUST THIS one attribute can wreck a marriage.
When one of us gets hurt or feels misunderstood, we can slide in to our feelings and not talk to the other, presuming that this attempt to “make a statement” will get the conversation back on track is a false truth and terrible move. Interaction is what we need. The all-important regular, meaningful engagement between spouses is essential for a healthy and resilient marriage. Sure, it is good to not speak for a short period. Hopefully, that time apart is for cooling down and considering your spouse’s perspective. It should not be used to plan and escape or pump oneself up in self-ignited anger.
It is quite revealing when I don’t take the time given to pray and ask the LORD for His Guidance in that specific situation. If I don’t, it is very likely that I will mess things up, because I am only (usually) considering how I may be the one on the right side of this misunderstanding. …never a good look.
If you are paying attention to what you just read, you may be able to see that, “I am always going to be wrong”, if I am not getting the perspective of the One Who created my spouse. Poor communication is and will always be the silent erosion of yours and my marriage, if we are not working to get the lie out of the center of the “lack” of verbal exchange.
Consistent interaction allows couples to share their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and struggles. This sharing deepens emotional intimacy, making both partners feel seen, heard, and valued. When interaction is lacking, emotional distance grows, and couples may begin to feel like strangers even when physically together.
Here again, folks, “poor communication” is one of the most destructive forces in marriage. When couples stop sharing openly, misunderstandings and resentment build up. It DOES NOT TAKE LONG. Whatever amount of resentment, bitterness or offense that sneaks in, can manifest as criticism, contempt, stonewalling (shutting down), and defensiveness. All of them are behaviors that erode trust and intimacy.
If you want to lose whatever connection you two have, don’t speak (listen and share for understanding) to one another. As your communication breaks down, the drifting apart emotionally will start to make it difficult to resolve disagreements or feel close.
BOTH of you MUST persistently seek and work to build emotional intimacy and union!
You do not need the neon light of this post telling you that any misunderstanding without clear and honest communication can often be misinterpreted. In that misreading, yours or your spouse’s needs and feelings will usually be unmet, leading to unnecessary conflict.
None of us have ever felt resentment towards our mate for ANY reason. Correct? Are you able to count how many unresolved issues and unspoken frustrations have accumulated in your relationship that caused (or may be currently causing) bitterness and emotional distance?
Why do we put more effort into not listening and sharing than the opposite? Our openness, respect, and steady exchange of supportive and nutritional words are essential for a healthy and lasting marriage. When communication falters, the relationship becomes vulnerable to further problems, and the likelihood of matrimonial breakdown increases.
If you know anything about how corrosion works, this may be of some help to you. Terrible interactions act like a slow-acting corrosive, gradually breaking down understanding, trust, and intimacy in your home. Addressing communication issues early is crucial for preserving and strengthening the marital bond.