Personality “Disorders”, Triggers and Life’s Balance
I don't have the privilege to have a clue about any of this topic. I have met a few people who lived with this and were able to overcome it.
My wife and I were initially (exposed to) confronted with this when a parent of one of our kids we pastored over 20 years ago shared she was diagnosed with being Bi-polar. That was a (3) year bumpy ride!
In psychology, the term "borderline" primarily refers to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is said to be a mental health condition characterized by difficulties with the following:
EMOTIONAL REGULATION
UNSTABLE RELATIONSHIPS
IMPULSIVITY
A STRONG FEAR OF ABANDONMENT
These describe several people I know, but DID NOT blanket the mother of the child in the youth group. What gives?
NOTE: “Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Bipolar Disorder are distinct conditions, though they share some overlapping symptoms, particularly in mood instability.”
BPD is branded by emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and unstable relationships, with temper, attitude and disposition changes that are often triggered by "Interpersonal Events".
"Interpersonal Events are naturally occurring interactions, reactions, or behaviors that happen between two or more people, often impacting relationships and communication. They can be positive, negative, or neutral, and as I have come to learn, understanding them is crucial for building healthy relationships and navigating social situations.”
After my involvement with the emotionally aching people of my past, and present, this thing about "behaviors that happen between two or more people, often impacting relationships and communication" is certainly real. Recently, I've met two (2) more people that make me consider how relationships can be destructive, toxic and healing.
Earlier this evening, my wife and I met this young lady in a Dollar Tree parking lot. She was blemished with ‘cutting’ scars on her thighs and upper arms. Speaking with her, she seemed hopeful, even though her appearance was frazzled and emotional. She is a beautiful girl with a fascinating smile. If it were not for the numerous markings, one would not tell she was in pain. The more we spoke, she began to weep.
She was sweet yet shaken. When she learned that we wanted to ‘help’ her; and desired to "walk with her through the help she needed", she seemed to become a bit freer.
There is ALWAYS a TRIGGER!
She was happy to be speaking to "older people since she did not speak with her parents" My wife asked about her and her parent's relationship. Her response was, "it is not a good environment for her." She “ran away from them.”
Without much more discussion about her parents, we realized that was one of the "triggers" for her. That relationship involved and introduced certain distinct episodes of mania and depression in her. According to some characteristic research details, these interactions with her parents would likely push her into or help her out of an "episode".
We are not certain what other relationships she is affiliated with, but in time, we hope to learn more about this young lady.
Per some details I found on being "borderline“ would resemble some people’s "episodes of mania and depression, can last for weeks or months." Per what she told us earlier, "hers are not lasting as long as they have been." ...and THAT is a very good sign or indicator that she is ready for change.
The truth is, since she can (willing) "show her scars and discuss them" tells us that, she is not afraid anymore and she is ready to fight for her life. ...her balanced and steady life.
These struggles and battles of the mind and emotions are and are not always linked to external triggers. We sometimes must start 'within' and ask tough questions about who we are, who we allow to influence us and what we want to do about our inner and external circles.
We can choose those influences.
Don't forget, "they can be positive, negative, or neutral, and as I have come to learn, understanding them is crucial for building healthy relationships, navigating social situations and beginning a rebirth that says, "I AM ABLE to and can live a well-adjusted and composed life that is filled with the people and things that "help me" and not "hurt me".
I mentioned to this young lady that, "we will walk with her, no matter how long it takes, but she must be willing to make the investments in herself. As she invests in her own healing and restoration, we are going to invest in her as well."
Two times I shared with her, "I am a Bible-based fella and my approach is such." She smiled and said, "That is a whole other story." However, she did not shy away from me. I did respond with, "The Bible is about loving people." That made her smile, and she agreed.
I have no idea where she is spiritually, and what pain may have been caused in the 'name' and 'guise' of the Bible, but I know that the Lord GOD is Faithful, True and Kind. He is not One to leave us alone, nor hanging. He wants us to seek Him out when life is grand, but even more so when our world is upside down and inside out.
Back to those "Interpersonal Events."
Per the psychological experts, “these IEs are often naturally occurring interactions, reactions, or behaviors that happen between two or more people."
Here is my personal thought and position… Most people generally have difficulty with building, nurturing and mending relationships.
A larger part of the emotional wound healing comes from listening and sharing. I trust and believe this whole-heartedly.
If we consider people who have a greater degree of struggle in these two areas of "communication" (listening and sharing), how would the episodic person be able to share/tell the trusted people what is going on? That would be tough. Would it not?
"Episode" means consisting of or characterized by separate, often loosely connected episodes or incidents. It suggests a story or situation that is divided into distinct parts, rather than a continuous narrative.
QUESTION: What causes Bi-polar problems? I am not certain, but as most of us do, I have a slight opinion.
Here is another one of my personal thoughts. I will not look at a medical synopsis on this. I trust that you will though.
“Safety and security (or the lack thereof) all drive the emotional and mental stability.”
Not being heard and understood would set me back a bit. What about you?
Is everyone who struggles in this area Bi-polar or borderline? I don't know. Is everyone who lacks the ability to share thoughts, opinions and control emotional anger or crazy? I am not persuaded that they are.
Are many people overmedicated? Yes.
Are many people misunderstood? Yes.
Are many people over stimulated and/or misdiagnosed? Certainly.
Do some folks need a little help in the area of medication (properly dosed)? I think there are some that support their ability to function properly.
Will you and I encounter people who fit each of these areas of description? Frequently, but unknowingly. I say this in full assurance, many, if not all of us, have met these people along the way and some of them you work with on the daily.
I have seen and learned that the is little to nothing that the love of GOD cannot cure.
Likewise, if people get the attention and time they require, relationships can be mended, if all the parties involved are eager and open to try.
Not every person IS a medical diagnosis away from an episode or even being "borderline". Subsequently, we all need some sort of intervention from time to time. Sometimes it's a low prescription and other times it is kindness linked together with personal time.
However, at all times we need the Care and Love of the One Who made us because we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made".
"You Are Amazing"
https://youtu.be/O3gbJGByIOE?feature=shared (take a listen)