When Trust is Lost and Difficult to Be Found

Trust lost in a marriage can be compared to GOD’s children failing to uphold their commit with Him.

When we think of our Husband, we can’t separate His faithfulness and the reliability from His Word.

Man struggles with keeping his word(s). Unlike humans, GOD always finishes what He starts and His Name is trustworthy.

When we speak of our “Husband” in the GOD/Jesus sense, His faithfulness and the reliability of His Word are inseparable. He is loyal, and therefore His Word cannot fail. His character guarantees His promises.

How do we regain trust when it is lost? With a human husband, that unity doesn’t hold in the same absolute way as GOD’s. A human husband may be sincere, loving, and even deeply committed, yet his faithfulness can falter (and often does). A human husband’s intentions can exceed his ability, and we know <gulp> that my words—our words can be shaped by weakness, fear, forgetfulness, or change.

However, with great intentionality, we men can regain the trust we’ve lost. We can ove again obtain the hope of a strong unity we once had.

Over the years, I have made a few choices that caused my wife’s trust in me to decrease— thus trust in that area was lost for a moment. With my diligence in seeking restoration, it recovered and fired again. I should say here that wives are not free of making decisions and choices that derail her husband’s faith in her investment in him. That disruption happens as well.  Confidence can be salvaged when it seeps or leaps out of the union. Usually, unrealistic expectations can cause these losses of integrity to take place.

Even though both husband and wife are (should be) deeply involved in building the desired relationship and trust, the nature of the relationship is essentially different between theirs than with their GOD.

How does GOD regain trust, when it is lost between His children (bride)?  GOD does not break trust — the bride withdraws it. That is not the case between humans though. The mistrust can come from either or both parties.

Since GOD regains trust by remaining the same. What about us? How do we do that?

“GOD never stops being trustworthy. He remains consistent, faithful, patient, and loving, even when His children are not.” He does not scramble to prove Himself. He does not over-explain. He does not compensate for our doubt. Instead, He remains committed. That constancy is itself the process of restoration.

NOTE: I was once a Boy Scout and recall using a direction finder, when I was learning stuff. Just as a compass doesn’t change north when we are lost, GOD doesn’t change His nature when we lose our way.

The above is not often named for the husband of creation. That difference is not a weakness in comparison—it is fact, and it is actually the point of the analogy.

Consider how important marital trust is between the two flawed humans. When trust is broken in a marriage, fragility comes to bear, because both spouses are damaged.

It is before this event has taken place that the will of GOD for humanity’s love, commitment, and communication can be proven out. Unfortunately, it is instead shown to be inconsistent. People fail. Husbands fail. Wives fail. We break promises, hide things and certainly make unpopular selections that damage confidence in the other.

Trust can be destroyed by actions like:

• Betrayal

• Dishonesty

• Neglect

• Broken promises

• Distance (emotional or physical)

Understand this… Rebuilding that previous level of trust requires work from both sides. It is, has been, and will ALWAYS be a two-way process. Repair is not guaranteed. It depends on repentance, forgiveness, accountability, and consistency.

Trust between the LORD GOD and His children is always forged with TIKVAH (hope), because He is the Perfect Father. He wants the bond to be strong and evident. He wants the same with His bride. GOD Himself never fails!

Unlike soulish individuals, the Father of creation doesn’t break promises, change character, or abandon His commitments. These are the things we do.

If trust is “broken,” it’s always on the human side. We do some interesting things, when we believe that “we” have been wronged by the LORD. One of them is we may lose faith in Him. Here are a few other reasons why we would come to not trust the Lord Jesus.

• Presumably, our prayers go unanswered (or not answered the way we expect)

• We experience pain, hardship, or loss

• We misunderstand His timing or purpose

• We drift spiritually

Even in our contrary and defiant acts, His Son never stops being trustworthy. He remains consistent, faithful, patient, and loving, even when His bride and children are not.

What about marital restoration? The regluing depends primarily on returning to the mate and Jesus. GOD always invites His children (and bride) back. This may not always be the case for human husbands and brides.

When and where is the turning point?  Will the husband or wife choose to uphold the vow?

What to do? What to do?

• Naming the wound (honestly talk about it)

• Own up to failure or hurt

• Admit the impact it has had

• Refuse to pretend things are “fine” when they are not

This factor alone brings relief, because truth, even when painful, has the power to free us. Scripture often shows GOD inviting His people to return to Him, confess, and come into the Light.

However, in a marriage, acknowledgment can soften the heart and open you both up to the possibility of rebuilding trust.

With GOD, the foundation is always secure. With people, trust can be fragile, but once again, with GOD, trust rests on the ONLY One Who never fails.