Are You a Suitable Helper?

There has been much said on the topic of man and woman and their creation.

There has been even more loudly whispered on the purpose of woman being created for and from man. Much of it silly and some of it cute. I have heard some of the rhetoric that I consider defamatory, insulting, slanderous and useless talk.

Just reading the context of Scripture, everything else walking around appeared to be in pairs and were seemingly similar, if not identical in appearance and in natural arrangement and form. The question was probably, “Why do I not have that?”

I was not there. However, per Scripture, it was noticed, by the man.

GENESIS 2: 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” 

According to the structure timeline in chapter 2, she (woman) was not created at that moment. It is presumptuous of me to say that our Creator Father wanted to place other things on the earth in a certain order that would please Him and establish what He wanted and how He wanted it to be.

NOTE: The Creator was aware that Adam was “alone” [Badad]. The more we define that word, we can actually see in our mind’s eye what that may have looked like to Adam and his Creator. Which means, he was in complete solitude. He was separated from a life that would resemble his own intimacy with a mate. Yes. He had the Father, but he was still considered alone.

NOTE: In a bit deeper look, the meaning is, "he was entirely alone" and “by himself or individually – in the flesh. What happened next would seem to be an interesting choice of creative order.

NEXT STEP: GENESIS 2: 19 …and out of the ground the Lord GOD formed every animal of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 

Nope. The woman was not yet given. Adam still had work to do, so the Father provided some work for him. The first man had some naming chores, after GOD formed all those animals from the ground. How long did that take? I am not certain, but Adam was still alone.

ANOTHER STEP: GENESIS 2: 20 The man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. 21 So the Lord GOD caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the Lord GOD fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. 

NOTE: Then the LORD GOD fashioned from the rib He had taken from the man a woman, and He brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:21-22). The woman is neither from Adam’s head to rule over him nor from his foot to be trampled by him, but from his side—signifying fellowship, equality of essence, and complementarity in function.

When Adam declares, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23), a covenant pattern is laid down that becomes the basis for marriage throughout Scripture (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-5 & Ephesians 5:31).

NOTE: "Fashioned" (what GOD did with the woman) refers to the act of forming, shaping, or creating something with intention and purpose. It is often used in the context of GOD's creative power and His involvement in the formation of the world, all of humanity (and their seed).

NOTE: Being brought to the man, the woman was the gift (yahab: To give, make a present, present a gift, grant, allow, or bestow by formal action) that was to be exactly what the man needed. Why? She came from his rib, she was created by the Creator of all living creatures and the details of her purpose were already embedded (rooted, woven and implanted) in her mind and body.

23 Then the man said, “At last this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of man.”

24  This is the reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 

** The word mat'im is a common translation for "suitable". Another option is holeim, which also conveys the sense of being fitting or appropriate, which implies that they are a good match for a harmonious relationship. **

When referring to a "suitable helper," in the Biblical story of Adam and Eve, the phrase is used (often translated) as "a helper corresponding to him" or "a helper opposite him," emphasizing the idea of a complementary and equal companion or flattering partner.

NOTE: A common theme from not-so-well-wishers have tossed out, “GOD made a mistake with man and wanted to improve on him.” Seriously?  That is not even a funny joke, if it was meant to be considered one. I agree that my wife (woman) was a fantastic creative masterpiece, and a wonderful gift directly from her Father’s hands, but why did the Creator decide to use “my” rib?

Adam’s response seems to be from an expectation that was fed by the long-awaited hope of ‘having someone who would treat him well, because she not only looks like him, but she came from his own body.’

He knew His ELOHIM would not give him something he could not share his body and lifestyle with. He knew there would be no changing for her, and she would not have to make any deviations for him. 

They are who they were made to be. …for each other. He knew that she was created from him, and for him.

“At last this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of man.”

NOTE: Revisiting the words from earlier, the word holeim carries the sense of being fitting or appropriate. Who would want to be forever linked to someone who is in every way unsuitable, inappropriate and improper for him?  In THIS case, the word holeim suggests that they are a good match for a pleasant, sweet and help-filled relationship.

Consider if you do not wait for GOD to actually bring you a mate, and   you chose to do the selecting based on looks, sex or money, you stand to place your hopes in the person who will likely bring you misery and untold amounts of stress, pain and drama.

Also consider this… Like Adam, your ELOHIM knows you are alone (and who you need). He was not in a hurry to give him a wife.

Maybe that is the same for you. Consider that He wants you to be focused on Him and the job and tasks He has for you. These days, preparing for your home as you gain maturity is a thing of the forgotten. Waiting on GOD’s will is necessary. In time, your mate will show up and His Fingerprints will be all over her.

You want your wife to fit you and your life. You want her to be right for you and the proper fit for who GOD has made you to be. When she comes, you will clearly see, you and she are a good match for a harmonious bond.

Ladies, don’t complain that you are married to him. If you waited on GOD to take you to him, that would likely mean that you are formed to fit him in the ways you were designed from the day your father’s seed met the egg you were at conception. You were created for greatness. You will realize that as you seek to fit your husbands body.